1. A bear and a dog went to buy sesame cakes. The dog said, Boss, I want fried eggs. The bear said: I want it, too; The dog said: I want to fry it hard, and the bear said: Me too; The dog added: Please fry both sides for me. The bear was about to speak when the boss interjected: I know, you want it, too. Look at your bear, you still have to fry it!

2. A veteran retired from the army, drunk with several comrades, and passed out. After being carried home by his comrades-in-arms, his wife tried to sober him up in various ways, to no avail, so she called the veteran’s comrades-in-arms.

The comrade-in-arms said, "Try blowing short whistles continuously."

The wife didn’t understand, but did it. Unexpectedly, before the whistle fell, the veteran jumped out of bed, dressed and put on his hat at lightning speed, and his mouth was not idle, shouting, "Where is my belt?" Who took it away from me? " After that, I flew downstairs.

In the cold weather, the veteran stood straight downstairs, mumbling, "Isn’t it an emergency gathering? Why hasn’t anyone come down yet?"

3. Once I stayed up all night in the Internet cafe with my friends, and I felt so hungry after playing until midnight, so I came out of the Internet cafe and found a midnight snack stall in a deep alley to get something to eat.

There were no people on the roadside in the middle of the night, only an uncle who kept the stall was drumming up to collect the stall.

我俩坐下来，朋友还在埋怨我玩游戏坑他：“你要不死，我也不会死。”我回了句：“死都死了，说那么多咱俩能活过来？”

大叔走过来准备问我们吃啥，听到我俩的对话愣了下，突然大叫一声，转身就跑…

要不是亲眼所见，我真的很难想象一个大胖子能跑这么快！

4. 往公交车站赶，看见要坐的那路车急驰而过，奋力追赶，快要赶到时边拍车边喊等一下，被司机无视车开了，郁闷无比。只好坐下一辆，开到半路，发现前面车抛锚了，顿时开心，喵喵的，谁叫你不等我……

5. 我：“兄弟，9月有个演出，看能不能帮忙搞两张票？价钱不是问题。”

哥们：“行，有哥在，不是吹牛。就这国内演出没有哥搞不定的，再说就咱哥俩这交情，包在哥身上，啥演出？说！”

我：“9月3号天安门阅兵，帮我在城楼上随便弄两张站票就行。”

6. 人身安全第一

我吧，比较懒，舍友呢，也比较懒。但是我们在同一个宿舍也蛮搭配的，我的懒主要体现在晚上下班泡脚后不倒洗脚水，他的懒体现在从我盆里直接倒一部分水然后洗脸。我们相安无事有半年多了，这是我近一周才发现的问题。。。不多说了，我不会告诉你们我在潍坊哪个工地的，人身安全第一！

7. Frustrated in love, I chose to jump off a building to bid farewell to this world. Fortunately, firefighters rushed to avoid the accident in time, and the aunt on the sidelines comforted me and said, "Don’t be too discouraged. How can you succeed in life at once?" If you can’t do it twice at a time, twice and three times, you can always die! "

8. My cousin is still single at the age of 30. Once I asked him, "Cousin, there are so many beautiful women in your unit, why haven’t you found a girlfriend yet?"

My cousin said coldly, "Rabbits don’t eat grass beside their nests!"

I said, "at this age, you still’ rabbits don’t eat grass beside their nests’!"

Cousin said gloomily, "Beauty is the rabbit, and I am the grass!" "

9. Teacher: Your son’s composition is the worst in the class! Grammatical confusion, logical confusion and improper use of words

Parent: Teacher, if you want to criticize me, just say so. There is no need to beat around the bush.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Parents: I wrote this composition for my son! !

10. I just met a wretched man on the subway. He looks like a human being and wears glasses. He is quite gentle.

As soon as I entered the subway, I made a move on a sister paper next to me. The sister paper next to me directly said: "If you make a move again, the labor and capital will call the police directly, even if you engage in foreigners, you will also start work on locals."

I was shocked at once. I can only say that these two people are very awesome.

When it comes to sports, most people think of running and swimming for the first time. As the two most common sports, they are naturally widely known.

And running and swimming didn’t disappoint everyone. As the most common aerobic exercise, their benefits to the body are beyond doubt. It is indeed a very good choice to develop the habit of running or swimming regularly.

What benefits can you bring to your body by running or swimming regularly?

The benefits of running regularly.：

① It can prevent osteoporosis.

Strictly speaking, running belongs toResistance trainingResistance training can reduce the density between bones, reduce bone loss and prevent osteoporosis, especially for middle-aged and elderly people. Running regularly and making jogging or long-distance running plans according to their physical conditions have obvious effects.

② Reduce the risk of cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases.

In the process of running, almost all muscles will participate, which meansThe whole body’s blood circulation will be mobilizedOver the years, the speed of blood circulation in the body will accelerate, and the frequency of blood renewal will also accelerate, to a certain extent.It can clean blood and reduce the risk of plaque.The probability of cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases will also be reduced.

Benefits of regular swimming:

① Effectively enhance vital capacity.

When swimming, frequentHold your breath and switch,Can effectively enhance people’s breathing ability,Broaden the respiratory tract, enhance one’s vital capacity,The possibility of respiratory health, such as pneumonia, asthma and other disease symptoms can be reduced.

② The weight loss efficiency is remarkable.

Compared with other sports,You have to touch water all the time, which means that your body will be more efficient in radiating heat.The degree of fat consumption will also increase. Therefore, swimming has always been called "the most slimming exercise".

As the two most traditional sports, they can bring too many health gains, so I won’t go into details here. However, sports are not just running and swimming. Although some sports methods are little known, they have remarkable exercise effects, and proper attempts in daily life can also add a lot of surprises.

Little-known, but remarkable exercise effect of three sports, I recommend you to try.

[Singing]-Exercise your breathing muscles and improve your immunity.

Although singing is a common thing, it is little known that singing can exercise. In the process of singing, ourRespiratory and facial musclesWill be active frequently, and over time, the facial shape will become more natural and linear because of long-term muscle exercise.

On the other hand, according to research,Singing often, because brain excitement leads to hormone secretion,Can play a role in purifying blood, which is helpful toImprove the immunity of human body. Not only that,Singing can also keep us in a good mood all the timeIn an optimistic mood, the body’s self-healing ability will be stronger.

[levator ani]-Although it seems awkward, it is really effective.

For modern people, hemorrhoid is one of the most common diseases.

And wantPrevent hemorrhoids,Lifting the anus can have a good effect, throughExercise anus and sphincter to enhance muscle strength.The risk of hemorrhoids will also be reduced a lot.

Not only that, the advantage of lifting anus is that it can be done anytime and anywhere. It is simple and healthy to lift anus properly after work or before going to sleep every day.

[Golf]-Not only elegant, but also healthy

In most people’s minds, golf should be "Elegant, noble"The pronoun.

It is true that golf used to be a sport among nobles, but now, with the popularity of golf halls,More and more ordinary people can get in touch with this sport.

butThe exercise of golfPurpose,Mainly in the psoas and arm muscles., andSensitive points of various jointsTry golf properly and be able toEffectively exercise the bones and muscles of these joints,JiuqianAnti-arthritis, lumbar disc herniationAnd other diseases can have a very good effect.

Not only that, I often play golf, but I can alsoExercise patience, improve mind and temperament, in terms of increasing personality charm, can also play a good help.

Of course, in the final analysis, the way of exercise is still secondary, just to popularize some sports knowledge and give you more choices. What is really important is still the persistence and determination of exercise. Whether it is running or swimming, or lifting anus or singing, as long as you can persist, it will be effective in the end. Don’t give up halfway.

References:

[1] Xu Mingzhe. On the relationship between singing and sports [J]. New campus: last issue, 2015(1):2.

[2] Li Jiquan. On the impact of golf on mental health [J]. Science and Education Cultural Exchange, 2009.

[3] Han Ping, Wang Mei. Small movements, great health-easy hemorrhoid prevention-recommend a Chinese medicine to strengthen the body and invigorate the anus exercise [C]// Chinese Medicine Association. Chinese Medicine Association, 2011.

The hot sun is like fire, and the desert is like the sea. An archaeologist specializing in the ancient city of Loulan on Mount Everest crossed the desert alone, aiming to find the legendary ancient city of Loulan. The sand at the foot of Mount Everest is hot and boiling, and every step is like walking on a hot pot. There is little water left and food is only enough for two days. And what is even more desperate is that he found that his compass seems to have lost its function in this desert.

As night falls, Mount Everest hides from the scorching sun under the sand dunes, while taking advantage of the coolness at night to move on. Suddenly he saw an old building, which was mostly buried in the desert, but he could still see its exquisite decoration and craftsmanship. Everest was ecstatic, and he finally found it.

Everest walked into the building carefully. Although he was prepared psychologically, he was surprised by what he saw. The walls are covered with vivid murals, describing the life, wars and sacrifices of the ancient Loulan people. One of the most striking is a huge mural, in which a man is wearing gorgeous clothes and holding a strange weapon. His eyes reveal great strength and wisdom.

Mount Everest was deeply attracted by this mural, and he decided to find out the identity of this mysterious figure.