The Ministry of Civil Affairs promotes the reform of marriage customs and strengthens the legal awareness of the people on the issue of bride price

　　□ Our reporter Zhao Li

　　□ Intern Cui Leilei

　　The Ministry of Civil Affairs recently held a national symposium on the reform of marriage etiquette and customs. The meeting pointed out that in some places, problems such as sky-high bride price, extravagance and waste, comparison of human feelings, vulgar marriage, prevalence of money worship and moral decline are outstanding. These problems not only become a stumbling block to rural revitalization and poverty alleviation, but also affect the spiritual outlook and civilized quality of the masses, and affect the harmony of marriage and family and the healthy and orderly development of society.

　　How to solve these problems? The Ministry of Civil Affairs proposed to promote the reform of marriage etiquette and customs, and actively advocated changing customs.

　　The causes of bad marriage customs need to be clarified urgently.

　　For the problems in the current marriage customs, the relevant departments have been dealing with them.

　　At the end of 2016, 11 ministries and commissions, including the former National Health and Family Planning Commission and the Ministry of Civil Affairs, jointly issued the "Opinions on Deepening the Activities of Marriage and Childbearing during the Thirteenth Five-Year Plan Period", clearly proposing to advocate simple marriage and opposing arranged marriage, illegal early marriage, big-handedness and asking for property through marriage.

　　Rural revitalization, rural civilization is the guarantee. In 2018, the No.1 document of the Central Committee, Opinions of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China and the State Council on Implementing the Rural Revitalization Strategy, clearly stated that we must adhere to both material civilization and spiritual civilization, enhance farmers’ spiritual outlook, cultivate civilized rural style, good family style and simple folk customs, and constantly improve the level of rural social civilization. On the one hand, it is necessary to inherit, develop and upgrade the excellent traditional culture in rural areas, and play its important role in rallying people’s hearts, educating the masses and purifying folk customs. On the other hand, we should also carry out actions to change customs and get rid of stereotypes.

　　In China, the human custom of weddings, funerals, welcoming and sending bears the functions of communication, interaction and emotional communication.

　　"Which have so simple can change the old customs? One is willing to fight and one is willing to suffer. " In the face of grassroots governance, this is the view of many people.

　　In the view of Liu Yanwu, an associate professor in the Department of Sociology of Wuhan University, the key problem that the marriage custom problems such as sky-high bride price and vulgar marriage are difficult to contain for a long time is that it is a "soft problem" and the society has been highly divided. "Soft problems are more difficult to solve by hard methods, because hard methods are easy ‘ Cross the border ’ . For example, no matter how reluctant the two parties are subjectively, objectively speaking, both parties are willing, otherwise the marriage will not be concluded or not. In this case, I am afraid that it is impossible to simplify the handling and treatment, let alone the hard way. "

　　In this regard, Dong Leiming, a sociology professor at Beijing Normal University, believes that from the reality, behind the reform of marriage customs, it is necessary to find out what is the mechanism of the high-priced bride price. This is supported by some big structural contradictions. When these big structural contradictions cannot be changed, any system or law is invalid.

　　In Dong Leiming’s view, the problem of marriage customs such as sky-high bride price has long been difficult to contain, mainly for three reasons:

　　First, the ratio between men and women is unbalanced, with more men and fewer women. From the perspective of social class, women are more willing to marry people with better conditions, and it is difficult for men to find a woman with better conditions than themselves, and there is often a trend that mountains marry the plains, rural areas marry the cities, and small cities marry the big cities. There are few women, and there is also a phenomenon of increasing the flow upstream. At the same time, with the development of industrialization, urbanization and marketization, a large number of women have entered cities.

　　Second, there is economic differentiation in rural areas. On the surface, the bride price is the intuitive result of the mother-in-law’s decision, but behind it is the economic differentiation in the whole countryside. In fact, the price of bride price is the standard set by the richer class, which will also lead to the problem that families with middle and lower economic levels are exhausted and families at the bottom of the economy are eliminated.

　　Thirdly, the family in China is characterized by close intergenerational relations. For most parents, they have "unlimited" responsibility for their sons. It is their life task for their sons to get married, and most of the bride price money is also the responsibility of their parents. These bride price money are accumulated through intergenerational relay (three generations), so there is room for "squeezing". There is a big regional gap in China. In some areas, parents have a "limited" responsibility for their sons, and the intergenerational relationship is not so close, so the price of bride price is relatively low.

　　"In such a structure, it cannot be solved through reform and legal adjustment. Unless the above three structures are changed, it will be effective." Dong Lei said.

　　Can we curb chaos through legislation?

　　Have you ever heard of "it is forbidden to ask for property by marriage"?

　　For this question, in the offline and online surveys conducted by reporters, a total of 98 respondents gave answers, of which only 8.66% respondents said they had heard of it, and the vast majority of respondents did not know that there was such a provision in China’s marriage law.

　　"This is the root of the weak legal awareness of most people on the issue of bride price." Zhao Xiaoxue, a consultant in a marriage and love agency in Beijing, told reporters, "There are many reasons for this situation. The custom of paying bride price is based on ‘ Folk law ’ In the form of existence, is considered to be reasonable, reasonable and legal. Therefore, especially in rural areas, although there are many phenomena that actually ask for property through marriage, people do not realize that this behavior is illegal. "

　　"However, if the amount of bride price is not stipulated from the legislative level, it will make the amount of bride price chaotic, so that there will be a high bride price. In some bride price disputes, some people think that bride price is a large amount of property, so people with different economic conditions have different conclusions. Because there is no amount regulation, the bride price not only brings troubles to the parties to the marriage, but also encourages the unhealthy trend of comparing and seeking differences in society. " Zhao Xiaoxue said.

　　In the interview, some people also asked whether the corresponding problems in marriage customs could be regulated by legislation.

　　In this regard, Liu Yanwu believes that the law should not be excessively involved. Because the excessive intervention of the law is not only a problem of weakening the emotional factors of marriage, but also legally speaking, the items in marriage consumption involve the private property of both parties. Some men are willing to buy a better house and give a higher bride price to their wives, and the money used to buy a house and pay the bride price is their legal private property. How can this situation be prohibited through legislation? In an increasingly highly divided society, this may also be the dilemma that law will encounter in jurisprudence.

　　In this regard, some places have tried a way, that is, using rural grassroots organizations to fix the wedding process and the amount of bride price through the form of villagers’ conventions, and regulate it through the rural red and white Council.

　　In this regard, Dong Leiming’s view is that in many places, the Red and White Council is an illusory existence. It may also play an effective role in the requirement of "replacing the lavish wedding ceremony with a solemn and sacred wedding registration ceremony". However, as for the personal issue of bride price, there are actually certain market rules, so it is very difficult for the Red and White Council to adjust the price of bride price, and it is also difficult for the relevant person in charge to intervene and operate.

　　"This practice should be affirmed. Of course, the effect remains to be seen, but at least it is a very positive attitude and weather vane, which can play a guiding role. There are bound to be difficulties in implementation, and the formation of village rules and regulations through the guidance of the Red and White Council can only be ‘ Soft method ’ , for ‘ Soft method ’ The effect can only vary from person to person. " Liu Yanwu said that the state should vigorously advocate civilized marriage consumption. Whether it is TV, newspapers or various new media, especially those dating programs, these communication channels are public and oriented, and cannot provide a publicity platform for conspicuous marriage consumption and vulgar and vulgar marriage customs. At the same time, we can explore the regulation of companies related to marriage consumption through laws. For example, some real estate companies flaunted slogans such as "You are only one suite away from your mother-in-law" and "You can call your mother-in-law if you have a room, but you can only call your aunt if you don’t have a room". These are typical examples of trampling on public order and good customs. The direction of force should be in this respect.